Miserable
by silver-etoile
Summary: Harry hates Draco, or so he thinks, but what if he realizes his feelings too late? Does he have a chance? HD SLASH.


**Disclaimer**: I solemnly swear that I do not own Harry Potter and/or any other characters used in this fic. They are all property of J.K. Rowling.

A/N: Lyrics used are from the song "Miserable" by Lit. Enjoy!

* * *

Harry looked around carefully as he entered the club. He was following rather sluggishly behind Seamus, who had insisted they go out that night. He had said he was tired of watching Harry plop down on the couch every evening, watch the telly until ten, and then go to bed.

Seamus and Harry shared a flat on the outskirts of London and had for the past few years since leaving Hogwarts. They had decided to live together after Ron gone away to Romania to work with Charlie and Dean had married Ginny Weasley.

It made sense that without their two best friends, they should stick together. They had moved in together while Harry began his Auror training and Seamus pursued a career in Magical Law Enforcement.

Harry sighed as he weaved his way through the shirtless crowd, following behind Seamus. He hadn't wanted to go out. He was perfectly fine staying in and watching reruns of Pop Idol on TV. Seamus was not to be deterred, though, and Harry had somehow found himself taking a shower and dressing in tighter clothes than normal for their little sojourn.

Seamus grinned as he glanced back, seeing Harry struggle along behind him, looking like a lost puppy. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly and grabbed Harry's wrist, dragging him to his side as he pushed through the crowd to the bar.

It was unusually crowded for a Thursday night, but that didn't bother Seamus. He pulled Harry to the bar with him and sat him down on one of the stools, ordering for both of them. When the drink arrived, he pushed it into Harry's hand, giving him an encouraging nod. Harry frowned slightly, but drank just the same.

He scanned the club, watching the undulating bodies rub against each other in hardly civilized ways. Harry watched as a couple slid past him, hands down the other's pants. He sighed and took another drink, sitting back and watching the dancers.

Beside him, Seamus was scanning the room also, but for entirely different reasons than Harry. His eyes lingered on a dark-haired man in the middle of the dance floor, but just as he was on the verge of taking a closer look, something else caught his eye.

Just to the left of the tall man Seamus had been eyeing, he saw a flash of silver-blond hair. He did a double-take as his eyes whipped to the blond man.

His eyes traveled up a long, lean body, over a flat stomach and strong chest to the man's face. Seamus' mouth fell open for a second as his eyes took in the all too familiar features of Harry's old nemesis.

Draco Malfoy was enjoying himself, dancing carelessly with some anonymous man. The guy was a decent dancer with a nice body, but his left ear a just a bit higher than his right and it was beginning to bother Draco.

Seamus' mind worked quickly, wondering if he should get Harry out of there before one caught sight of the other and a scene was made, or if he should let Harry know quietly and watch what he would do.

He was saved the trouble as Harry glanced over that way and his eyes fell on Draco. They widened as he stared at the blond man dancing so suggestively with an older man. The hand gripping his drink was becoming increasingly white as it tightened.

Seamus saw this and was quick to intervene.

"Harry," he said, "do you want to get out of here?"

Harry took a second before speaking, forcing his hand to let go of the glass, relaxing his fingers with difficulty. His eyes never left Draco as he thought about what to do.

It had been about a year since he had last seen Draco, and that had been at Hermione and Blaise's Christmas Party. It had been Christmas Eve and Harry had attended simply for Hermione's sake.

::Flashback::

_"Harry!" Hermione cried happily as she pulled open the door. _

_He gave her a quick smile, stepping inside and out of the snow. He handed her two poorly wrapped gifts and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Happy Christmas, Hermione."_

_She beamed at him and led the way into the living room where Harry was met with an explosion of greetings. Hermione just smiled and set the presents under the tree along with the rest of the gifts._

_Harry smiled at everyone, even if it was a little pained. He spent a little time shaking everyone's hand and giving hugs. His greeting with Blaise was a little stiff; he had never really trusted the ex-Slytherin's intentions with Hermione._

_After greeting everyone, he settled down on a couch with Ron and a glass of eggnog. He was listening somewhat inattentively to Ron's stories about dragons when the doorbell rang and Hermione hurried to answer it._

_A few moments later, Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson walked into the living room, much to Harry's surprise and shock. Hermione and Pansy greeted each other as though they were longtime friends. Draco was more reserved, as Harry had thought he would be. A small sneer was playing on the edge of his lips throughout most of the evening._

_Harry and Ron had both sunken into scowls the moment Draco had entered the room. Hermione tried to explain to them that Draco wasn't as bad as they thought. Harry just thought it was only because Blaise was friends with him that Hermione said that. He couldn't believe that Hermione thought Malfoy had changed._

_He had remained on the couch for the better part of the evening, his mood slowly lifting as time went on and the more drinks he had, quickly switching eggnog for wine. He humored Ginny for a while as she sat on his lap, telling him what she wanted for Christmas._

_Harry finally pushed her off and struggled upright, laughing as he stumbled for a moment. He excused himself to the bathroom. He had left the ruckus of the party, catching a glimpse of Blaise's hand slipping around Hermione's waist and the kiss he pressed to her neck. A small scowl graced his features._

_He walked slowly down the hall to the bathroom, gazing thoughtfully at the pictures that lined the hall. Most were of Blaise and Hermione together, smiling and kissing. A few were of Harry and Ron and the Weasley's, and there were even a few of Pansy and Draco. Harry stopped just before the bathroom door, his eyes fixed on a picture of Draco and Pansy._

_They were both dressed up nicely and standing in front of a large fountain. If Harry had been a bit more sober, he would have recognized it as the Trevi Fountain. Draco had his hand on Pansy's back and they were smiling. Harry leaned in closer to the picture, squinting his eyes as he looked at the expression on Draco's face._

_It was a smile, but something about it seemed off to Harry. Eventually, Harry shrugged and turned from the photo, reaching for the door to the bathroom and pushing it open._

_"Hey, watch it!" came a sharp reprimand from behind the door as Harry pushed it inward and it hit a solid body._

_"Sorry, I—" Harry said, but didn't get much further. He had walked into the bathroom to find a displeased-looking Draco watching him, leaning against the sink, his arms crossed across his chest._

_"Don't be sorry, Potter," Draco retorted sarcastically. "Heaven forbid you look where you're going or have the decency to knock first. But then, I guess this is what Gryffindors do, isn't it?"_

_"Geez, Malfoy," Harry said, his words coming out a little slurred. "It's Christmas Eve, have a heart."_

_"How much did you drink, Potter?" Draco drawled, uncrossing his arms. "There's something called moderation, don't know if you've heard of it."_

_"Moderation?" Harry repeated. "I'm not the one who needs moderation."_

_"And what is that supposed to mean?"_

_"I've heard 'bout you and what you do."_

_"What I do?" Draco replied dryly, but his eyes were narrowed. "At least I do things other than staying home on a Saturday night watching Pop Idol."_

_"Pop Idol is a good show," Harry defended it automatically. He moved further into the bathroom, letting the door swing shut behind him. He stumbled over the sink and Draco moved automatically out of the way._

_Draco rolled his eyes and scoffed, his upper lip curving into a sneer so very reminiscent of Snape. "I'm sure it is."_

_"It is!" Harry exclaimed, turning to face Draco. "If I could sing, I would be on it." He took a deep breath and Draco's eyes widened. "I will survive!" Harry sang suddenly and loudly. "I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give, and I'll survive. I will survi—" Harry found himself suddenly cut-off by Draco's hand clamped over his mouth._

_"Please, Potter," Draco said, scandalized, "if I want to ruin my eardrums, I will just watch the bloody show. I don't need a rendition from you as well."_

_Harry looked put out for a second as Draco lowered his hand and went back to the sink to wash it._

_"Can you sing?"_

_Draco stopped scrubbing his hand and looked at Harry, his eyebrow rising significantly. "No."_

_"I bet you can," Harry said, watching Draco in the mirror._

_Draco sighed impatiently and dried his hand on a towel. "No, Potter, and I'm not going to prove it."_

_Harry didn't say anything else for a moment, watching as Draco fiddled with his hair. Finally, Draco turned around, giving Harry an appraising look. "Waiting for something, Potter?" He looked Harry up and down for a second, his grey eyes lingering on Harry's torso. He took a step forward, his eyes locked with Harry's. "I'm sure whatever it is, you'll be waiting a very long time."_

_Harry took a step back as Draco advanced. It wasn't long before his back hit the wall and he was staring into Draco's eyes._

_Draco's hand had come to rest against the wall next to Harry's head. His head was tilted slightly to the side and his eyes were narrowed but not angrily, almost as though he was measuring Harry._

_Harry felt nervous and trapped between Draco's hand and his body that was far too close for comfort._

_"Malfoy," Harry said awkwardly, "the party is—"_

_"Forget about the party for a second, Potter," Draco breathed. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips as he watched Harry's eyes darting over his face._

_"But—"_

_"I thought you were good at self-entertainment," Draco drawled._

_Harry had no reply so he settled for letting his mouth hang open slightly as he stared at Draco._

_Draco reached out and placed a hand under Harry's chin, gently pressing his jaw shut. "Don't gape, Potter, it's unbecoming."_

_"What are you—" Harry's sentence was cut off as his eyes went wide._

_He glanced down to see Draco's hands tugging his zipper down on his jeans. He felt Draco's fingers brush against the sensitive skin of his lower abdomen, sending shivers through his body._

_"Malfoy," he said, looking up at Draco, a panicked look in his eyes. "What are—"_

_"Shh," Draco said, placing a hand over Harry's mouth once more. "Can't you keep a secret, Potter?"_

_Harry was silent as Draco dropped his hand again, placing it over Harry's hip and pulling him forward so that his body was pressed against Draco's completely. Harry gave a small whimper when he felt Draco's hardened cock pressing into his._

_His eyes were wide as he felt Draco move, grinding against him, jerking his cock to attention. He knew it was wrong but the wine-induced haze made it hard to tell. He gave a small yelp as he felt Draco bite down on his neck._

_He could feel the blood rushing to his erect cock as Draco's hips rolled against his own, thrusting his erection into Harry's. He felt Draco's hand slide under the waist of his jeans and down the front of his boxers._

_"Shit!" he gasped as Draco's hand wrapped around his pulsating cock._

_He swallowed hard and closed his eyes as Draco's hand began to move slowly, pumping at an agonizing pace._

_He could feel Draco's warm breath on his neck and gasped again when he felt Draco's tongue licking a path up it._

_Harry pressed his hips forward as Draco's hand slid over his leaking erection. He couldn't help wanting more. He gave a small groan when Draco's thumb slid over the head of his cock. His head rolled back and hit the wall with a small clunk._

_"Malfoy," he moaned, his eyes closed and his breath coming in short pants._

_Draco didn't respond, only increased the speed of his hand, pumping Harry's throbbing erection quickly. He pressed his body closer to Harry, his own cock rubbing against the fabric of his slacks. He knew Harry could feel it and the effect it would have._

_Draco pumped his hand over Harry's cock faster and faster, hearing Harry's choked breaths in his ear. He scraped his teeth over Harry's neck, running his tongue along after it and soothing the reddened skin._

_He heard Harry's breath catch in his throat as his hand slid over Harry's pulsing member. He leaned into Harry's neck, sucking at his pulsing point that was pounding wildly._

You make me come.

_Harry's eyes were shut tightly as Draco's hand pumped harder and faster, bringing him closer to a blinding climax that finally exploded from his body and into Draco's hand. He could only feel tiny prickles of electricity for a few moments after he finally came down from his high._

_He was leaning against the bathroom wall, his breath coming in gasps. It had been a while since he'd done that with anyone. He opened his eyes barely and watched as Draco washed his hand again, drying it with a towel, and turning to Harry._

_"Happy Christmas, Potter," Draco said, almost sounding polite._

_Harry turned his head to see Draco strut out of the bathroom and back to the party. That was all Harry really remembered as all of the sudden, he felt dizzy and found himself a few minutes later leaning over the toilet._

::End Flashback::

"Harry?" Seamus' voice jerked Harry back to the present and he realized he'd been staring at Draco for a good five minutes.

Seamus was watching Harry closely. He knew all about what had happened that year at Hermione and Blaise's party. Harry had come home with a hell of a hangover and looking completely confused.

Seamus knew the trouble Harry had gone through trying to rationalize away Draco's behavior. He knew the trouble the blond had caused Harry, all the questions, the agonizing over what had happened, and the final conclusion that Draco was an evil bastard who cheated on his wife with innocent people.

Seamus knew better, though. As much as Harry said he hated Draco, Seamus knew it wasn't true. He knew that Harry was obsessed with him a little more than was necessary. He knew there was more that was better left unsaid. Harry would never admit to having feelings for Malfoy, especially since Malfoy was married.

Here Draco was, though, dancing so provocatively with half-clothed men, grinding their bodies against his in very suggestive ways.

"No, let's stay," Harry said finally, forcing himself to calmly pick up his glass and take another drink, feeling the alcohol burn down his throat. He set down the glass a little harder than he meant to and it sloshed over the edges.

Seamus eyed him carefully, but knew it was no use to argue. Instead, he set down his glass and left Harry alone, brooding and glaring at Draco. Seamus wound his way onto the dance floor and soon disappeared from view.

Harry sat at the bar, his expression growing ever darker as he watched Draco change partners once again, draping his arms around the new boy and moving his hips against the others.

After another drink, Harry slid off his stool, his face set. He maneuvered through the crowd, taking no notice as some people stopped dancing to stare at him. After a while, he reached where Draco was dancing with another unnamed blond man.

Harry cleared his throat and tapped Draco on the shoulder.

"May I cut in?" He hadn't meant his voice to sound so strained and angry, but it did. He was having a hard time reigning in his emotions.

Draco turned around and if he was surprised by Harry's presence, he certainly didn't show it. Instead, he immediately slipped a hand around Harry's waist, pulling him closer.

"Why, Potter," Draco said, talking loudly over the thumping base that surrounded them, "didn't picture you as the club type."

Harry just scowled as they danced together, ignoring the people that stopped to watch them. "Didn't picture you as the type to cheat on your wife."

Draco ignored Harry's comment, slipping his hand down Harry's lower back to rest just above the swell of his ass. He pressed his hips forward into Harry's as the music grew faster in its pace.

He leaned forward, as they moved together, their movements becoming more suggestive as time went on. Draco's other hand was on Harry's hip, moving him with his hips to the music.

Draco's lips brushed against Harry's ear, his tongue flicking out to trace the shell of it. Harry felt this and tried to jerk away, attempting to push Draco away. Draco merely chuckled and kept his firm grip on Harry's hips.

His hand that had been on Harry's lower back slid lower, grasping Harry's ass suggestively, causing Harry to jump in shock.

"Malfoy!" Harry hissed, glancing around them. Several of the patrons were watching their little display.

Draco leaned in again so that no one else could hear. "You talk too much, Potter."

Harry was taken by complete shock as Draco's mouth came down on his own in a harsh, hot kiss. He made a noise of distress but it was lost in the pounding off the base from the speakers. He gasped when Draco bit his lower lip sharply.

His senses were invaded by Draco's talented tongue as it slid into his mouth, licking and tasting all of him. He was pulled closer and he couldn't help his arms as they slid over Draco's shoulders.

He fell into the kiss, allowing Draco to take over, pushing his tongue into Harry's mouth. Harry moaned as their lips slid over each other, a meshing of hot tongues and the clash of teeth that sent shivers down Harry's spine.

Even though he knew it was wrong, yet again, it felt so right. His arms were pulling Draco closer as they kissed hard, pressing their mouths together harshly as though if the kiss ended the world would end as well.

Harry didn't even notice that they'd stopped dancing. All he was concentrating on was how it felt to be kissing Draco Malfoy. It felt so right, so perfect, complete.

_You make me complete._

Eventually, they pulled away, both breathing a little harder than normal. Harry stared at Draco, his mind working furiously to explain what had just happened. He couldn't deny how right that had felt, as if he had finally found the right person.

He took a careful step forward, searching Draco's eyes. "Malf—"

"Don't, Potter," Draco said suddenly, his voice stilted. He took a step back, bumping into another club-goer. He didn't bother to apologize as he kept moving. "Goodbye."

Harry stared as Draco vanished into the thronging crowd. He was jolted to his senses as someone knocked into him, sending him stumbling forward. He looked up, a gripping fear taking hold of his chest.

He pushed his way through the crowd, determined on finding Draco and discussing what had happened. It couldn't be over, not now. It had barely started.

Harry shoved his way to the edge of the crowd, looking desperately around for any sign of Draco. He couldn't see him and so made for the door, pushing more people out of the way as he became more and more desperate. He had to find Draco, he had to.

He was stopped as someone stepped in front of him just before he reached the door.

"Move!" he yelled, trying to go around the person, only to have his arm caught and be dragged back.

"Harry, what are you doing?"

Harry whipped around to see Seamus holding his arm and looking concerned.

"I have to find Malfoy!" Harry said urgently.

"Why?" Seamus asked, confused about Harry's sudden change in demeanor. He seemed flustered and desperate.

"He—it—it's him!"

"What are you talking about?" Seamus asked as he released Harry's arm and Harry dove for the door, Seamus following, fighting to keep up with Harry as he pushed his way out. "Harry!"

Harry ran past the doorman and the line to get into the crowd, looking around for Draco, but seeing nothing. He ignored Seamus' repeated cries and ran into the alleyway next to the club. He couldn't see anything and was looking around again as Seamus caught up to him.

"Harry, what exactly happened?" Seamus asked desperately.

"Malfoy," Harry said, still staring around him. "He, we kissed and there was something, I felt something."

"Felt what?"

"It's him. He's the one."

"One what?!" Seamus was growing increasingly confused and flustered as Harry gave half answers.

"Mine! He's—he's mine," Harry said, finally looking at Seamus. Seamus' eyebrows came together. "But… he's gone."

They were silent for a moment, the only sound being the light thump of the base that echoed from the club behind them.

"Harry," Seamus said slowly, coming up to him and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Malfoy's married."

"I know," Harry sighed. "I know."

Seamus paused for a minute, seeing the sadness pass over Harry's face and flit into the darkness. "You want to go home?"

Harry took one last glance down the alleyway then sighed and looked back at Seamus. "Yeah."

Together, they turned and walked down the alley, vanishing into the darkness.

_You make me completely miserable._

Draco pushed open the door to Malfoy Manor quietly and hung up his coat on the rack before walking to the living room. He sat down on the couch with a small exhale and stared at the moonlit coffee table before him.

"How was the club?"

Draco looked up as he heard a soft voice from the doorway to the kitchen. Pansy was leaning against the frame, her body outlined by the shadows.

Draco stood up, walking over to her and placing a hand on her rounded stomach and kissing her cheek. "Same old," he said quietly.

She nodded and pushed herself off the frame. "Someday, Draco, someday." She walked over to the stairs and gave him a small smile. "See you in the morning." Then she turned and began to climb the winding stair.

Draco watched her go then walked over to the window, glancing out it to the sparkling pool that glittered in the moonlight. He stared out for a moment before stepping back and grabbing the curtains, pulling them shut and throwing him into darkness.

FIN.

_  
A/N: No, I'm not planning on writing more. My friend gave me a challenge to write a tragedy without death, and let me tell you it's not as easy as it sounds. So please review! Let me know how I did :)_


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